He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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