Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
