i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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