I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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