tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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