I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
