Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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