But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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