distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
