I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
