her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
