Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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