i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My breasts were aching with rage.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
