You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
