some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
