I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
