i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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