Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
