I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
