i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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