Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
