fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
love makes seman taste better
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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