You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
