im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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