Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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