Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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