I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize