wat bout pragnant strippers??
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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