so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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