Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize