it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
