"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
