Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
