Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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