I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
