I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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