i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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