They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
