is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
