I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize