We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
