she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
