Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize