meet me or not, i'm out of control
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
