How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
