I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
