this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize