There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
