dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
home. puking in laundry basket.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
