she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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