Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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