My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize