in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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