Soap is not a condiment
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
