so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was born a porn star she said
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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