Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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