Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
